The Red Dress That Changed Everything

Since it's almost the love month -- I share a story of love.

The News & Observer asked people to share about how they met their soulmate. Here's my entry and hoping it will inspire you to share your love story too. You can post them at share.triangle.com/love. If nothing else, it's a great time to remember how it all began....

For me, it all started with the red dress.

It was Labor Day Weekend and with zero plans, my roommate and I decided we would get all decked out and head to the best restaurant we could find. Alas, the red dress.

Staking out our places at 411 West's bar in Chapel Hill, we decided to enjoy an amazing glass of wine while we waited for our table. Tonight was the night we were going to treasure up the best in life and forget that we were single, broke and tired. We were both working ridiculous hours, I having two jobs that barely covered rent, student loans and yes, the glass of wine I was enjoying.

Then came the elbow. Some man at the bar was cheering in celebration over an apparent touch down. As he raised his hands to cheer, they immediately high cut it into my sternum with stunning impact. I'm sure my look was half high rage, half shock and definite breath-taking pain. He turned to look at me as if he just ran over a puppy with his car. Completely mortified.

I guess pain is the ultimate ice breaker. In his most gracious gentleman mode, he found me somewhere to sit down and offered to ease the pain with another glass of wine. (How nice, since I couldn't afford the first one.)

We proceeded to have a very intimate chat about Jesse Helms, beliefs, the real definition of success, faith and other shocking conversations you don't usually have until about the tenth date. He gave me his card and I left that night smiling. It was one of those experiences where I didn't know if I would see him again. But I adored the knowing that I had met someone who made me feel more as a result. More than just meeting a great guy, I felt a sense of gratitiude for his crossing my path.

He continued to surprise me with unexpected ways -- like faxing me to ask me out on a date when he was on an a business trip. Or creating "wish weekend" where he proceeded to grant three of my wishes from my life's list of dreams. But that's another story involving the Waldorf Astoria, the Red Door Salon and New York City...

We were married the day after Hurricane Fran. In so many ways, our wedding day was a perfect reflection of our relationship -- highly unconventional, surprising, shocking at times and culminating with a hurricane. After 12 years of being together, what I love most is that he still continues to re-invent our relationship together. Not stuck in what we both were when we met, but continuing to move forward in building a legacy together with our lives in faith, community and family. And that is all a girl could ever ask for, minus a giant elbow in her heart.