I love the Rogers and Hammerstein play "The Music Man."
It reminds me of being a kid when my sister and all three brothers were in the local community version of this play. I was the left out donkey, the baby, the youngest and forced to sit on the sidelines and watch. I was so jealous of their cool costumes, getting to memorize lines, hanging out with the other kids in the production.
One of my favorite songs was "We Got Trouble" where all of the kids in the background got to sing "trouble, trouble, trouble" over and over during the whole song. I thought that was the coolest trick to be singing something completely annoying in the background while the grownups were trying to make sense of a song over the top of it. It sort of reminds me of the strange days we are living in right now. "We got trouble" is an understatement.
Lately it's been overwhelming. All the bad news, all the depressing, horribly deranged politics involved. I don't know what to believe anymore. Add that into 6 straight days of rain this week and it makes me want to reach for some Tequila.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. Since we are smack dab in the Easter season, I have been spending more time in my Bible than ever. In church we have been reading about the life and times of Christ and were invited to read John 14 for our study of the week.
I read the first line of John 14 and it said "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God and also in me."
Wow.
Isn't it funny how God gives us exactly what we need to hear when we need to hear it? I've been pondering that scripture all week and thinking how "today" those words are despite having been written centuries before. If God made a point to share this, it's up to me not to let my heart be troubled. I don't need to lug around all this freaky-ness of world. The Big Guy is still driving the ship and He's still in control.
I don't need to carry it. What a relief to let go of the trouble. And to realize we are not alone in this thing called life.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Hanging Loose
Spring makes me want to change all over.
Not just my home or my outside, but on the inside too. Holding things loosely is the change idea of the moment. Not really such a deep thought, but more about being lighter about life and my desire to direct everything. When something's important to me, I start squeezing the ever-living joy out by trying to control it. My writing, my son, belly flab, my marriage. I guess I forget that life isn't a video game where we can maneuver our joystick to drive all things we love.
What's at the bottom of all this is that lately I've been struggling with my writing. Nothing good was coming out, I kept getting lots of rejections, it didn't hold it's usual satisfaction and pleasure. I was meeting with a group of other writers and one friend talked about her writing in a state of "holding it loosely." She went on to explain that by holding it loosely, you allow room for other wonderful things to be a part of the process. Your writing becomes less about you and more about sharing something that is an extension of who you are.
What a wonderful vision for the way to approach our gifts, whether it's writing, our children, our families, our friends. To hold them loosely with a lightness that allows for room to maneuver. When we hold things tightly, it becomes about our ego, our unmet needs, our junk in our personal trunk. Keeping a light touch welcomes more to the process and invites our Creator and other wonderful resources to join in the fun. Everything becomes more vibrant as a result.
I didn't recognize by holding things so tightly, I was sending out the message that "only I can do this, it's all up to me, no one else could possibly know it better than I do." No wonder I was getting so many rejections from other people, I had already rejected them first.
When I think of "hanging loose" I think of it like having a surfer mindset. Relaxing in the water, waiting to see what life sends your way. Not splashing around making more waves or positioning your swimsuit for optimal wave-riding conditions. Hanging loose is about being happy in whatever weather you have and ready when the big wave comes.
Not just my home or my outside, but on the inside too. Holding things loosely is the change idea of the moment. Not really such a deep thought, but more about being lighter about life and my desire to direct everything. When something's important to me, I start squeezing the ever-living joy out by trying to control it. My writing, my son, belly flab, my marriage. I guess I forget that life isn't a video game where we can maneuver our joystick to drive all things we love.
What's at the bottom of all this is that lately I've been struggling with my writing. Nothing good was coming out, I kept getting lots of rejections, it didn't hold it's usual satisfaction and pleasure. I was meeting with a group of other writers and one friend talked about her writing in a state of "holding it loosely." She went on to explain that by holding it loosely, you allow room for other wonderful things to be a part of the process. Your writing becomes less about you and more about sharing something that is an extension of who you are.
What a wonderful vision for the way to approach our gifts, whether it's writing, our children, our families, our friends. To hold them loosely with a lightness that allows for room to maneuver. When we hold things tightly, it becomes about our ego, our unmet needs, our junk in our personal trunk. Keeping a light touch welcomes more to the process and invites our Creator and other wonderful resources to join in the fun. Everything becomes more vibrant as a result.
I didn't recognize by holding things so tightly, I was sending out the message that "only I can do this, it's all up to me, no one else could possibly know it better than I do." No wonder I was getting so many rejections from other people, I had already rejected them first.
When I think of "hanging loose" I think of it like having a surfer mindset. Relaxing in the water, waiting to see what life sends your way. Not splashing around making more waves or positioning your swimsuit for optimal wave-riding conditions. Hanging loose is about being happy in whatever weather you have and ready when the big wave comes.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Artful Nothing
Yesterday was a complete goof off day.
I watched two movies, ate a bowl of popcorn for lunch, took a nap and ate at least 12 Girl Scout cookies. I can't even describe how ridiculously great it was. By late afternoon, I managed to accomplish four loads of laundry so at least I could pretend that I did something valuable. More so when my husband walked in the door and said "what did you do today?" I could let out a deep and exhaustive sigh and say "you wouldn't believe the laundry!"
Goofing off on a Monday is completely foreign territory for me. Usually by 7:30 in the morning I have already been up for two hours and ticked off six items on my to-do list. My days and weekends have been so packed with commitments, volunteer work, regular work, church work, kid's school stuff and home repairs that the productivity police would be pleased. But who wants that?
It's a beautiful thing to simply stop for awhile. As most of the South was covered by several inches of snow, it was lovely to look out the window to a snowy dreamland. Everything was blanketed in breathtaking wonder. I followed suit by seeking to create my own wonderland inside by doing whatever I wanted to do.
As moms and heads of the household there is a lot of stuff we "gotta" do. Kids have to get to school, lunches have to be packed, laundry has to be done and dinner has to be made. Let's not forget about work, career and bringing home the bacon. This doesn't leave much room for our "fun" o-meters to be filled.
My older and wiser sister's code word for this kind of day is "fake sick" day. She and her high school age daughter will call a "fake sick" day on each other. This means total permission to lay in bed, watch movies, eat toast or whatever might make you feel good. She shares her guilty pleasure of fake sick days like discussing a secret lover. Inside, I'm jealous that she is so free to claim that serenity for herself.
I decided to try out her fake sick day idea. I must say that today I feel completely energized and whole again. I think when we take a day to do nothing, we become better people. It's sort of like giving that little girl inside of you the Barbie doll you have always wanted. It's a treat, a joy, a chance to reclaim that bit of magic we all still have.
Give yourself an amazing gift and schedule a day of nothing this month. You'll love how much the richness of "nothing" brings to your life.
I watched two movies, ate a bowl of popcorn for lunch, took a nap and ate at least 12 Girl Scout cookies. I can't even describe how ridiculously great it was. By late afternoon, I managed to accomplish four loads of laundry so at least I could pretend that I did something valuable. More so when my husband walked in the door and said "what did you do today?" I could let out a deep and exhaustive sigh and say "you wouldn't believe the laundry!"
Goofing off on a Monday is completely foreign territory for me. Usually by 7:30 in the morning I have already been up for two hours and ticked off six items on my to-do list. My days and weekends have been so packed with commitments, volunteer work, regular work, church work, kid's school stuff and home repairs that the productivity police would be pleased. But who wants that?
It's a beautiful thing to simply stop for awhile. As most of the South was covered by several inches of snow, it was lovely to look out the window to a snowy dreamland. Everything was blanketed in breathtaking wonder. I followed suit by seeking to create my own wonderland inside by doing whatever I wanted to do.
As moms and heads of the household there is a lot of stuff we "gotta" do. Kids have to get to school, lunches have to be packed, laundry has to be done and dinner has to be made. Let's not forget about work, career and bringing home the bacon. This doesn't leave much room for our "fun" o-meters to be filled.
My older and wiser sister's code word for this kind of day is "fake sick" day. She and her high school age daughter will call a "fake sick" day on each other. This means total permission to lay in bed, watch movies, eat toast or whatever might make you feel good. She shares her guilty pleasure of fake sick days like discussing a secret lover. Inside, I'm jealous that she is so free to claim that serenity for herself.
I decided to try out her fake sick day idea. I must say that today I feel completely energized and whole again. I think when we take a day to do nothing, we become better people. It's sort of like giving that little girl inside of you the Barbie doll you have always wanted. It's a treat, a joy, a chance to reclaim that bit of magic we all still have.
Give yourself an amazing gift and schedule a day of nothing this month. You'll love how much the richness of "nothing" brings to your life.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Busy Little Bees
How many times recently have you had this exchange:
"How are you?" someone asks.
"Busy!" you reply.
I know, I know. I'm right there with you saying "busy busy" all the time.
For some reason responding "busy" when I am asked bugs me. Yes I am busy and saying that out loud is correct. But who is not busy? Have you ever asked someone the token "how are you?" and gotten "I am so relaxed. I have all the time in the world and right now I"m enjoying the fact that I get to have a sweet conversation with a friend like you. In fact, I wasn't even sure what I was going to do until you walked up to talk to me."
Let's face it, we're all busy -- but is that all we have to say to each other? We certainly can find more to talk about other than how jam packed our lives are, filled with stuff to do, places to go and e-mails to check that we barely have time for a meaningful conversation.
Busy has become our code word that declares "I am valued, I am needed, I have lots to accomplish." Who doesn't want to feel valuable, important, on a mission in life? I know I do, but my goal is to find a way to say it without saying the "b" word.
The challenge is that when people ask you how you are, they really don't want to know. They want to know sort of, but in a hurry up, let me get to what I want, get on with it sort of intention.
So to be efficient but real, I put together a list of potential responses to the "how are you?" question:
How are you?
The Pollyanna
"I'm excellent and hoping you are too!"
The Encourager
"I'm well and you are looking well yourself."
The Ray of Sunshine
"I'm struggling today, but I'm on the upward swing."
The Truth
"I had a horrible night's sleep, but looking forward to a nap later."
The Honest
"I'm getting over a cold and am in need of some soup, do you have any?"
If you can't think of something good to say, I think a "I'm great" with a smile will always do. Because even if you are struggling inside, the very fact that you said "I'm great" out loud fools you into thinking you can find a way back to it. I hope you will try to be a bit more creative than "busy" when someone asks how you are. It certainly would make more life more interesting for everyone involved.
"How are you?" someone asks.
"Busy!" you reply.
I know, I know. I'm right there with you saying "busy busy" all the time.
For some reason responding "busy" when I am asked bugs me. Yes I am busy and saying that out loud is correct. But who is not busy? Have you ever asked someone the token "how are you?" and gotten "I am so relaxed. I have all the time in the world and right now I"m enjoying the fact that I get to have a sweet conversation with a friend like you. In fact, I wasn't even sure what I was going to do until you walked up to talk to me."
Let's face it, we're all busy -- but is that all we have to say to each other? We certainly can find more to talk about other than how jam packed our lives are, filled with stuff to do, places to go and e-mails to check that we barely have time for a meaningful conversation.
Busy has become our code word that declares "I am valued, I am needed, I have lots to accomplish." Who doesn't want to feel valuable, important, on a mission in life? I know I do, but my goal is to find a way to say it without saying the "b" word.
The challenge is that when people ask you how you are, they really don't want to know. They want to know sort of, but in a hurry up, let me get to what I want, get on with it sort of intention.
So to be efficient but real, I put together a list of potential responses to the "how are you?" question:
How are you?
The Pollyanna
"I'm excellent and hoping you are too!"
The Encourager
"I'm well and you are looking well yourself."
The Ray of Sunshine
"I'm struggling today, but I'm on the upward swing."
The Truth
"I had a horrible night's sleep, but looking forward to a nap later."
The Honest
"I'm getting over a cold and am in need of some soup, do you have any?"
If you can't think of something good to say, I think a "I'm great" with a smile will always do. Because even if you are struggling inside, the very fact that you said "I'm great" out loud fools you into thinking you can find a way back to it. I hope you will try to be a bit more creative than "busy" when someone asks how you are. It certainly would make more life more interesting for everyone involved.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Facebook Frenzy
Since joining Facebook, I don't think I've ever felt so popular.
With all the "be my friend" requests, quizzes to find out what celebrity I am most like, fish presents, causes to join and virtual cocktails and outfits, I can't help but feel popular. I even have a host of people wanting to know "65 random things about me." I'm not sure I want to know 65 random things about me, let alone share that with other people.
If you are not familiar with Facebook, it's an on-line community place where you get to share all sorts of fun things about you and what you are up to each day. When you make friends with people, it's a chance to invite them into your "circle" and keep up with what's going on both of your lives. You can post pictures, share causes, write on walls, post buttons of flair, take all sorts of quizzes and give away virtual gifts. It's ridiculous and pointless electronic fun and it's completely addictive. (www.facebook.com)
People you may have never even spoken to in high school are looking you up and be-friending you. It's like one big giant popularity contest to keep up with Facebook. The downside is that it can be completely overwhelming to respond to all the requests, invitations and virtual gifts. It can also be completely addicting. My new cell phone has a Facebook icon on it, so I can literally find out what my 75 friends are doing while I'm sitting in car pool.
When you think about it, it's over-the-top nosy to be constantly needing to find out what everyone is up to. But in some ways it's very practical. My husband and I wanted to invite a friend over for dinner one night and he actually said, "can you check Facebook to find out if so and so is in town to see if they can come over?"
The reality is life can be sort of lonely and it's pretty neat to be reminded about all the people that know and care about you. It's pretty comforting to know that you have 75 friends. People that are really interested in knowing what 80s sit-com you most identify with. But yes, it's a huge waste of time -- sort of like eating a bag of Doritos with french onion dip. Not so healthy, not completely harmful, but delicious nonetheless.
But with all the bad news, job losses, economic downturns and political scandals, it's really nice to have something that is pure ridiculous fun. And that my dear, is Facebook.
With all the "be my friend" requests, quizzes to find out what celebrity I am most like, fish presents, causes to join and virtual cocktails and outfits, I can't help but feel popular. I even have a host of people wanting to know "65 random things about me." I'm not sure I want to know 65 random things about me, let alone share that with other people.
If you are not familiar with Facebook, it's an on-line community place where you get to share all sorts of fun things about you and what you are up to each day. When you make friends with people, it's a chance to invite them into your "circle" and keep up with what's going on both of your lives. You can post pictures, share causes, write on walls, post buttons of flair, take all sorts of quizzes and give away virtual gifts. It's ridiculous and pointless electronic fun and it's completely addictive. (www.facebook.com)
People you may have never even spoken to in high school are looking you up and be-friending you. It's like one big giant popularity contest to keep up with Facebook. The downside is that it can be completely overwhelming to respond to all the requests, invitations and virtual gifts. It can also be completely addicting. My new cell phone has a Facebook icon on it, so I can literally find out what my 75 friends are doing while I'm sitting in car pool.
When you think about it, it's over-the-top nosy to be constantly needing to find out what everyone is up to. But in some ways it's very practical. My husband and I wanted to invite a friend over for dinner one night and he actually said, "can you check Facebook to find out if so and so is in town to see if they can come over?"
The reality is life can be sort of lonely and it's pretty neat to be reminded about all the people that know and care about you. It's pretty comforting to know that you have 75 friends. People that are really interested in knowing what 80s sit-com you most identify with. But yes, it's a huge waste of time -- sort of like eating a bag of Doritos with french onion dip. Not so healthy, not completely harmful, but delicious nonetheless.
But with all the bad news, job losses, economic downturns and political scandals, it's really nice to have something that is pure ridiculous fun. And that my dear, is Facebook.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
For the Love of January
January makes me want to eat, sleep and drink bourbon.
Driving my son to school this week, it was raining sideways and the sky kept getting darker and darker along the way. I felt like I was about to enter the epicenter of doom. I tried to cheer myself by looking for inspiring music. Of course, that's when every song on the radio sounds like Bob Dylan or Alanis Morissette singing about drinking binges, losing lovers or dying. Did I say Happy New Year yet?
If January's nasty weather doesn't drive you crazy, there's always the comfort of some ridiculous New Year's resolution that will never happen. Yes that and the fact there are no good holidays to look forward to other than Valentine's Day, which just adds more guilt and pressure to your life.
This morning, I was again looking for any sort of encouragement. I found myself raiding my secret good stash of chocolate by 9 a.m. There's something a bit Stepford-ish about eating chocolate bon bons in the AM. But I was merely looking for coping strategies. It didn't really work anyways and left me sick and disgusted at myself for having to eat a bon bon to get through the morning.
In December I long for the quiet simplicity of January. In January, I long for anything fun and joyful. In my sane, non-chocolate ridden brain, I know that January is sort of cool. You can use that indoors time to get more organized, read great books, do nothing. It's that month of introspection, thinking, getting acts together. There's a lot of good football and something wonderful to be made in a crock pot. I do love the easy days with free schedules, weather keeping you in and a chance to get your brain back from the holidays.
A friend of mine likes to call this "hunkering down." When she's in the mood to only be with her family and say no to the outside world, she says "well, we're just hunkering down today." January is sort of like that. One long month of hunkering. And that makes January a pretty loveable month after all.
Driving my son to school this week, it was raining sideways and the sky kept getting darker and darker along the way. I felt like I was about to enter the epicenter of doom. I tried to cheer myself by looking for inspiring music. Of course, that's when every song on the radio sounds like Bob Dylan or Alanis Morissette singing about drinking binges, losing lovers or dying. Did I say Happy New Year yet?
If January's nasty weather doesn't drive you crazy, there's always the comfort of some ridiculous New Year's resolution that will never happen. Yes that and the fact there are no good holidays to look forward to other than Valentine's Day, which just adds more guilt and pressure to your life.
This morning, I was again looking for any sort of encouragement. I found myself raiding my secret good stash of chocolate by 9 a.m. There's something a bit Stepford-ish about eating chocolate bon bons in the AM. But I was merely looking for coping strategies. It didn't really work anyways and left me sick and disgusted at myself for having to eat a bon bon to get through the morning.
In December I long for the quiet simplicity of January. In January, I long for anything fun and joyful. In my sane, non-chocolate ridden brain, I know that January is sort of cool. You can use that indoors time to get more organized, read great books, do nothing. It's that month of introspection, thinking, getting acts together. There's a lot of good football and something wonderful to be made in a crock pot. I do love the easy days with free schedules, weather keeping you in and a chance to get your brain back from the holidays.
A friend of mine likes to call this "hunkering down." When she's in the mood to only be with her family and say no to the outside world, she says "well, we're just hunkering down today." January is sort of like that. One long month of hunkering. And that makes January a pretty loveable month after all.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
The Face of Joy
My favorite joke about church is "if you're going to be in church, please let your face find out about it."
Many years ago, I was ridiculous enough to think I could sing in the church choir for a holiday program. I had no business singing in the choir other than a love for music and an energetic idea that I belonged up there. They were kind enough to allow me to join in.
I remember practicing for weeks in rehearsal, as well as preparing in my car, at home, any chance I got to sing that inspiring holiday music. I loved it and it truly allowed me to wear the holiday spirit for weeks on end.
The day of the program, I was excited beyond belief. The church was lovely, softly aglow with candles and pointsettias, even a fireplace was lit during our worship. All the families and friends were flurried with the holiday season spirit and I was thrilled to be one tiny portion of the magic.
Our Christmas choir assembled up front and launched into our 15 minute medley of most of the holiday favorites, as well as some new special mixes. I remember singing with "in-need-of ankle weights" style happiness and then feeling a huge wave of irony crash over me. As I looked over the faces in the congregation, I didn't see joy -- I saw people looking bored beyond belief. Many stared blankly out the window or silently scolded their misbehaving children. Some folks were even asleep. Many faces had a dull blank look that seemed to say "when will this end?"
There were only a few smiling appreciative faces and one of them was the pastor, so he didn't really count. As the dull faces stared back at me my plastered on grin got bigger and more elaborate. I thought surely if they saw my smiling happy face, they might catch a bit of the joy I was singing about. No deal.
Holidays are such an emotional stewpot for everyone from bad memories growing up to the gifts you never got as a kid. But there is also so much joy to be had. Even in the midst of hard times, there is good. In fact, the light comes easier to see when everything appears to be dark all around it.
Now I can be accused of being a Pollyanna at times about life -- I guess there are worse things to be called. But with the holidays approaching, it's a great time to think about the joys in our life. Not the fake plastered on kind that I had on my goofy face so many Christmas Eves ago. The real kind that celebrates the simple promises we all share. But don't keep that joy limited to just you -- let your face find out about and spread it around.
Lastly, if you end up visiting a church with an energetic choir singing their hearts out -- give them the blessing of smiling back the joy they give you.
Many years ago, I was ridiculous enough to think I could sing in the church choir for a holiday program. I had no business singing in the choir other than a love for music and an energetic idea that I belonged up there. They were kind enough to allow me to join in.
I remember practicing for weeks in rehearsal, as well as preparing in my car, at home, any chance I got to sing that inspiring holiday music. I loved it and it truly allowed me to wear the holiday spirit for weeks on end.
The day of the program, I was excited beyond belief. The church was lovely, softly aglow with candles and pointsettias, even a fireplace was lit during our worship. All the families and friends were flurried with the holiday season spirit and I was thrilled to be one tiny portion of the magic.
Our Christmas choir assembled up front and launched into our 15 minute medley of most of the holiday favorites, as well as some new special mixes. I remember singing with "in-need-of ankle weights" style happiness and then feeling a huge wave of irony crash over me. As I looked over the faces in the congregation, I didn't see joy -- I saw people looking bored beyond belief. Many stared blankly out the window or silently scolded their misbehaving children. Some folks were even asleep. Many faces had a dull blank look that seemed to say "when will this end?"
There were only a few smiling appreciative faces and one of them was the pastor, so he didn't really count. As the dull faces stared back at me my plastered on grin got bigger and more elaborate. I thought surely if they saw my smiling happy face, they might catch a bit of the joy I was singing about. No deal.
Holidays are such an emotional stewpot for everyone from bad memories growing up to the gifts you never got as a kid. But there is also so much joy to be had. Even in the midst of hard times, there is good. In fact, the light comes easier to see when everything appears to be dark all around it.
Now I can be accused of being a Pollyanna at times about life -- I guess there are worse things to be called. But with the holidays approaching, it's a great time to think about the joys in our life. Not the fake plastered on kind that I had on my goofy face so many Christmas Eves ago. The real kind that celebrates the simple promises we all share. But don't keep that joy limited to just you -- let your face find out about and spread it around.
Lastly, if you end up visiting a church with an energetic choir singing their hearts out -- give them the blessing of smiling back the joy they give you.
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