Un-Inspiration

I am feeling un-inspired lately.

If I could describe my mental state it would be gray, blobular cardboard. My head feels like its have been transformed into an accountant brain, looking at numbers all day and feeling overwhelmed at the thought of picking up a sock.

I can't blame it on the weather -- it's been gorgeous 60 and 70 degree weather here every day. I can't blame it on my spouse, my dog or my health or anything else. It is just me, feeling un-inspired.

I know mostly it's because I have been really productive with my writing and really productive with receiving rejection letters. Nothing deflates my energy like a good rejection or two. I morph into that familiar awkward feeling of being in high school and the dorky girl who hopes someone will like her. But they don't.

When I am struggling, it feels like everyone is getting along great in the world, except me. Have you ever felt like that? Like everyone is living a fabulous life, wildly successful at their job, having deeper and more meaningful experiences every day -- and then there's me -- getting rejection letters all day long.

I guess the best way to work out of un-inspired is to surround yourself in change. I picked myself up from my desk in the darkest part of the house and moved outside. So as I write this, I sit with bare feet on the deck in a shorts and a t-shirt. My hope is that I will be transformed by new surroundings.

Who knows if it will inspire me...at least I am surrounded by beauty instead of darkness.